My DH has been at BMQ once before (he took VR and is now going back soon...hopefully). I know how stressful it is not knowing what he's doing or who he's doing it with. But, you have to have faith in your relationship....because being part of a military family means a lot of separation. You'll only make yourself sad by thinking bad thoughts.
This probably didn't help you much, but I tried. :D
You've just hit a low stretch and you're stressed out and every little thing is making it worse. Take a deep breath for a second or two and try and relax. Step back. Chill.
With regards to him, the bottom line when all is said and done is do you trust him. If you trust him, then all the insecurity doesn't matter. Hold onto the trust.
Also, what do you need from him? What do you need him to say to you to make you feel better? Find out what it is and tell him what he needs to say and ask him to say it.
Recognize when the stress and emotions are starting to spiral out of control and mentally stop yourself. When you start to go down that road, say to yourself "No. I am not doing this. This only leads to stress and becoming over emotional and I don't want to go there." Distract yourself if necessary. Go for a walk with your favorite songs in an ipod. Go crank up the music and dance your emotions out. Do something that will make you feel good.
As for the coworkers, if they *did* intentionally leave you out (and I'm not convinced they did) then that's their loss. You are a fantastic person and if I were in Halifax I'd make you come out for coffee just so I could smack some sense into you...and then give you a big hug :)
(gah, i had a long response and it dissappeared...) okay....lol.. big ol squishy hugs to ya. firstly, seasoned Mil Wifes opinion... Dont give anymore thought to the word date, then you would to the word toilet paper... It seems to be a CF thing. Jay asked to go on a date Friday...he is going out with 2 guys. One of them has asked me before if Jay is allowed to go on a date. Jay tells me i need to go out on a date with the girls...Date isnt a Romantic term..unless in reference to the two of you going on a date.... Date is the term given in reference to getting cleaned up and going out...opposed to running a brush thru your hair or putting on pants to pop by a friends place... You will encounter some weird ass stuff in this life...for example, at jays work, they enjoy sitting on eachother and farting... leg humping is not uncommon... so calling eachother 'Muffin' and asking to go on dates is nothing to blink at... They are not gay, and they are not 6...they are just in the CF. Feeling he is trying to defer guilt by telling you to go out...No..You should go out!!! Dont sit home and stewing...Go have fun! Enjoy being able to! For jay and i to go out its $50 just to get out the door...between cabs and sitters...and thats before getting where we are going.. plus having to be home at a decent time to get the sitter home... For me to go out myself, i feel lost...i Always have atleast on kid in tow..its hard to enjoy my time out alone because i always feel im missing something. SO i do say, Get out and have some fun..dont sit at home marinating in these feelings when you could be out having a good time!!!! AS for wing nite..might only be an oversight...maybe they thing your too busy. give it a shot and see how it goes...If it turns out they didnt invite you on purpose, dont sweat it..we all know your AWSOME, and its their loss...
Chin up hun, You know Tim loves the heck outta ya, and eventually things will get easier. Hugs
Oh Sara, please don't stress yourself into old age;-) You are too cute! Tim loves you, look at the contract, the times you spent together and remember most of all, the love. This moment in time is but a centimeter in the ruler of life.
{{HUG}}
ReplyDeleteMy DH has been at BMQ once before (he took VR and is now going back soon...hopefully). I know how stressful it is not knowing what he's doing or who he's doing it with. But, you have to have faith in your relationship....because being part of a military family means a lot of separation. You'll only make yourself sad by thinking bad thoughts.
This probably didn't help you much, but I tried. :D
You've just hit a low stretch and you're stressed out and every little thing is making it worse. Take a deep breath for a second or two and try and relax. Step back. Chill.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to him, the bottom line when all is said and done is do you trust him. If you trust him, then all the insecurity doesn't matter. Hold onto the trust.
Also, what do you need from him? What do you need him to say to you to make you feel better? Find out what it is and tell him what he needs to say and ask him to say it.
Recognize when the stress and emotions are starting to spiral out of control and mentally stop yourself. When you start to go down that road, say to yourself "No. I am not doing this. This only leads to stress and becoming over emotional and I don't want to go there." Distract yourself if necessary. Go for a walk with your favorite songs in an ipod. Go crank up the music and dance your emotions out. Do something that will make you feel good.
As for the coworkers, if they *did* intentionally leave you out (and I'm not convinced they did) then that's their loss. You are a fantastic person and if I were in Halifax I'd make you come out for coffee just so I could smack some sense into you...and then give you a big hug :)
(gah, i had a long response and it dissappeared...)
ReplyDeleteokay....lol.. big ol squishy hugs to ya. firstly, seasoned Mil Wifes opinion... Dont give anymore thought to the word date, then you would to the word toilet paper... It seems to be a CF thing. Jay asked to go on a date Friday...he is going out with 2 guys. One of them has asked me before if Jay is allowed to go on a date. Jay tells me i need to go out on a date with the girls...Date isnt a Romantic term..unless in reference to the two of you going on a date.... Date is the term given in reference to getting cleaned up and going out...opposed to running a brush thru your hair or putting on pants to pop by a friends place... You will encounter some weird ass stuff in this life...for example, at jays work, they enjoy sitting on eachother and farting... leg humping is not uncommon... so calling eachother 'Muffin' and asking to go on dates is nothing to blink at... They are not gay, and they are not 6...they are just in the CF.
Feeling he is trying to defer guilt by telling you to go out...No..You should go out!!! Dont sit home and stewing...Go have fun! Enjoy being able to! For jay and i to go out its $50 just to get out the door...between cabs and sitters...and thats before getting where we are going.. plus having to be home at a decent time to get the sitter home... For me to go out myself, i feel lost...i Always have atleast on kid in tow..its hard to enjoy my time out alone because i always feel im missing something. SO i do say, Get out and have some fun..dont sit at home marinating in these feelings when you could be out having a good time!!!!
AS for wing nite..might only be an oversight...maybe they thing your too busy. give it a shot and see how it goes...If it turns out they didnt invite you on purpose, dont sweat it..we all know your AWSOME, and its their loss...
Chin up hun, You know Tim loves the heck outta ya, and eventually things will get easier.
Hugs
Oh Sara, please don't stress yourself into old age;-) You are too cute! Tim loves you, look at the contract, the times you spent together and remember most of all, the love. This moment in time is but a centimeter in the ruler of life.
ReplyDelete*Hugs*
Lori